Saturday, November 24, 2012

She Writes The Pain From Her Heart...

She Writes The Pain From Her Heart...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

He lay there in the box
His mother stood at his head
Looking down at him in disbelief
Trying to see, to know

Oh God, my son is dead
Is this really my son
She asked as she looked
Through a curtain of tears

Tommy!  Tommy! Tommy!
Please don't be gone
Come back, Tommy
This hurts so bad

He lay there so still
She stood there even stiller
Frozen in shock looking at her son
Her only child she brought into this world

Her hand reached out to touch his hair
As tears rolled down her cheeks
Her chest began to heave with
Big sobs ... she wouldn't let come out

Her fingers touched the curl in his hair
Until they came upon something new
A roughness, a .... it took a moment to realize
They were staples from the autopsy

Her mind screamed with pain
Her fingers traced the scar beneath his hair
Her hand began shaking
Her mind telling her what it was

Her eyes closed as her fingers gently patted
His head, her hand touched his precious cheek
Tracing the familiar face of her child
Her hand softly touching his forehead

She looked up, out through her very red eyes
Eyes full of pain unlike any she'd ever known
To look at Skip, to see such grief in his eyes
Oh Skip, Tommy's gone, Tommy's gone

It seemed all was blank around her in the world
There was only a box sitting there
Her son lay in it
Only she, her husband standing there all alone

Her only focus was on her baby
The child, the son she had brought into the world
He was lying there, to never get up again
Or to say 'I love you, mama', again

I love you, son.. please God don't let this be true
Though she knew her child was gone, she still couldn't believe
He was such a personality, so alive
That she felt he could somehow come back

But, he lay there silenced forever
Her son, her only child
Would never again get up
He really was gone, never to be anymore

Tommy was cremated just after that
His ashes went to his son's mother
A tiny bit of his ashes went into a teardrop
And a heart, each had a tiny urn

They were given to Skip and Gloria
His son's mother took his ashes home with her
To one day scatter in the NC mountains
Stone Mountain, near where he grew up

He died on May 29, 2010
It's now November 24, 2012
His mother still grieves for him
Grief is there no matter how much she smiles

She still cries for him, but... no one can see
She hides her pain well
When she laughs, she is crying
But, when you look... all you see is a smile

The holidays are here once again
She's determined to make them happy
She has Skip, her Pups to think of now
They won't see her cry, feel her pain

She will hide it, she will write it quietly
So, no one will know
No one will feel sad or worry for her
As she writes the pain from her heart

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry you are still feeling pain because Tommy is gone. I know he loved you very much. I can still hear him saying, "nobody better mess with Mama and Skip!" I heard him say that several times. To me, that was as close to saying, "I love you Mama and Skip" as it could be without saying it. We will all just have to pray that God will heal you pain and take away your misery. I am only a phone call away! Love, Ms. Nancy